Careers and Jobs

Not really to do with CAREERS & JOBS but so what!!

I saw this post a number of years back but a friend resent it to me today. Really brought back some great memories. We are certainly going through rough times at the minute but you know what it wasn’t always this bad and it will get better. This post will drag you back down memory lane and help you forget the present for a few minutes – ENJOY!!

I’m talking about Hide and Seek in the park, The shop down the road,Hopscotch, Donkey, skipping, handstands, stuck in the mud, football with an old can, Dandy, Beano, Twinkle and Roly Poly, Hula Hoops, Jumping the stream, building a swing from a tyre and a piece of rope tied to a tree, (If you live in Dublin the lampost), building tree-houses, climbing up onto roofs. Tennis on the street, the smell of the sun and fresh cut grass.

Hubba Bubba bubble gum and 2p Flogs, macaroon bars and woppas,3p Refreshers and wham bars, superhero chewing gum, golf ball chewing gums and liquorice whips, desperate dan and roy of the rovers, sherbit dips and Mr.Freezes, marathon bars and everlasting gobstoppers. An ice cream cone on a warm summer night from the van that plays a tune chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe neopolitan

Wait … Watching Saturday Morning cartoons … short commercials, Battle of the Planets, Road Runner, He-Man, Swapshop, and Why Don’t You?, Transformers, How do you do?, Bosco(SANDY), Forty-coats, the Littlest Hobo and Lassie, Chucklevision, The Muppet Show, MacGyver, Scarecrow and Mrs King, Little House on the Prairie and Highway to Heaven, or staying up for Knight Rider and Magnum PI.

When around the corner seemed far away and going into town seemed like going somewhere.

A million midget bites, sticky fingers and mud all over you, knee-pads on your jeans, Cops and Robbers, Rounders, tip the Can, Queenie-I-O, climbing trees, spin the bottle, building igloos out of snow banks, walking to school, no matter what the weather, running till you were out of breath. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt, Jumping on the bed. Pillow fights,Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles, Being tired from playing… Remember that?

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon

Football cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

And don’t forget the Marietta sandwiches we’d make by buttering a cupla Marietta biscuits and stickin’ them together. And that quare oul mixture made in a tall glass with HB ice cream and Taylor Keith Red Lemonade.

I’m not finished just yet…

Eating raw jelly, orange squash ice pops

Remember when …. There were two types of sneakers – girls and boys and Dunlop Green Flash and the only time you wore them at school, was for ” P.E.”, Gola football boots.

It wasn’t odd to have two or three “best” friends, when nobody owned a pure bred dog, when 25p was decent pocket money, when you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny, when nearly everyone’s mum was at home when the kids got there, when it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents

When any parent could discipline any kid or use him to carry groceries and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
When being sent to the head’s office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home. Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn’t because of muggings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! and some of us are still afraid of them!!!

Remember when….

Decisions were made by going “eeny-meeny-miney-mo.” Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, “do over!” “Race issue” meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in “Monopoly”, the game of life and connect four, atari 2600’s and commadore 64’s.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was germs. It was unbelievable that Red Rover wasn’t an Olympic event…

Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a biro barrel pea shooter or an elastic band. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better,

Taking drugs meant orange-flavoured chewable vitamins, Ice cream was considered a basic food group.

Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.. Abilities were discovered because of a “double dare” Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!!

This is dedicated to anyone who may need a break from their “grown up” life…

I DOUBLE DARE YA!!! Bagsy it, no returns ………

Sorry folks but it is still general bad news on the jobs and careers front. Unemployment reached an 11 year high in September with figures nearly at the 250,000 mark. Judging by the general feedback it could be a winter of discontent. Property crash, stock market turmoil and credit crisis.

I was interested to read that Ballina, Tralee and Dundalk were three of the worst unemployment blackspots as I have been doing some work in all three locations over the summer. All seems to be sunny in Leixlip and Malahide though as unemployment is at 4%.

Let’s try and end this article with a positive note – Cook Ireland has announce that it will be creating 200 new jobs in Limerick over the newxt 5 years. This is part of a EUR25M investment. Lets hope for a few more of these announcements over the remainder of the week.

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The job section of newspapers is playing a declining role as a tool for jobseekers as much advertising goes online BUT it should not be ignored yet. I have had a quick look at the Irish Independent today and highlighted some of the interesting jobs.

The stand out role (or should that be stand up) this week is Chief Executive Officer for Smithwick’s Cat Laughs. This role will be based in Kilkenny and for more information visit www.smithwickscatlaughs.com

Education Jobs – there are quite a few teaching posts advertised with efforts by UK institutions to attract our teachers. Northfleet Technology College is seeking English, Maths and Science Teachers. For more information www.ntc.kent.sch.uk

Construction Jobs – not surprisingly most of the construction jobs are overseas. The big areas seem to be DUBAI, ABU DHABI and SAUDI ARABIA

I cam across this advert in an article I read and would be interested to hear how many of the readers would apply. I apologise to the women BUT you can apply too. This is an advert that appeared in the London Times in 1913

“Men wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours in complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success.”
Any takers?

I am sure some of you might argue that you are already doing this job. Well perhaps this is to locate your replacement.

Enjoy – funny comments accepted!!

SHOCKER: One in five people are claiming disability benefit but are actually fit to work. 22,038 individuals are claiming disability benefits but when examined 4,722 were deemed fit to work. I would never have guessed this!!

So who is benefiting from the fraud – looks like everyone!!

1. The claimant – Yes the taxpayer is getting hit in the pocket again. While we are miserable at work those defrauding the system are relaxing in St Stephen’s Green funded by us.
2. The doctors – Correct me if I am wrong but I guess they are making a living handing out sick notes.
3. Investigators – Wow there is a whole new career path here. All you need to do is grow a thick mustache like magnum and spend your days hiding in a skip outside claimants houses with your camera. What a great job!!
4. The Irish Workers – Reduced travel time to work as there are 4,722 less cars on the road during rush hour traffic. And dwellers in the city center will gain from reduced noise pollution which is now a huge problem according to the Herald.
5. Government – This is 4,722 people they do not have to find jobs for and they can manipulate their figures to keep them of the published unemployed figures.

So the morale of the story is that Fraud pays – not!! If you know anyone cheating the system direct them towards this site for inspiration to get back on the tools.

Careers and Jobs will increase by 180,000 in Northern Ireland if plans go ahead to reduce corporation tax rate to 12.5% (similar to the Republic). Not only are we shopping in Newry and Belfast but according to some analysts we could soon be working there too. Will Inward Foreign Investment into the North compliment the South or cause further pain and job losses? Will job announcement like this week in Tralee soon be a rare event? Many would argue that they already are. Businessmen, politicians, IDA and Sir Anthony O’Reilly think it will be a benefit for the whole Island.

Careers in Northern Ireland.

So what would be the benefits for jobseekers working in the North. I will list some that spring to mind but feel free to add to the post.

1. Beef Sausages
2. Better roads
3. Potato bread and Soda’s
4. Better work life balance – No more M50 or Mad Cow Roundabout
5. Tennent’s and Harp (only joking)
6. IKEA

Ireland is no longer the “land of the little people” and Darby O’Gill will have to pack his bags and move if he wants to do a sequel to his 1959 movie. The Celtic Tiger helped create a booming racing industry in Ireland but it is now putting pressure on the same industry as teenagers are now too big to become jockeys. Racing academies are now recruiting in regions like Eastern Europe to fill places. Paddy Power and other bookies won’t be laying odds on the new Irish Ruby Walsh in the near future. Having said this, the Guards could prove a solution to the Racing Industry staffing problems as I noted this week that we now have a guard who measures in at 5ft 2 inches.

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While on my work placement at college I participated in the job interviews to replace me when I returned to college. This was my first experience of being on the other side of the table. Interviews are a stressful time for the jobseeker but they can equally be a stressful time for the interviewers – as I found out.

We had seven interviews scheduled for one particular day so we decided to add a bit of fun to the day. First question we asked each candidate was to tell a joke. We did this to lighten the atmosphere, put the interviewees at ease but also to make it more fun for us. I will point out that this was not a critical hire for the organisation!!

I met with an interview coaching client the other day who had recently been asked to tell a joke at interview which brought up the whole subject again. He asked my advice on this. 99% of you will never be asked this question at interview BUT if you are I would fall on the side of decency and caution. If I was the interviewer I would be hard to offend me BUT you won’t always get me. If you are asked this question then the likelihood is that the interviewer has a sense of humor but this is not set in stone. So when you are preparing for your next interview make sure you practice a few jokes. Here is a safe one: Why are they putting the accountants at the bottom of the ocean?
They found out that deep down they’re really not so bad.